Losing a parent at a young age – What it really feels like

If I were a superhero, my power would be making sure that no child ever loses a parent – that’s how bad it feels when you lose a parent at a young age. 

I was 10 years old when my mom and dad died – and I often ask myself why did it have to be on the same day? Why did the two people I relied on 100% have to be taken away so brutally? Why did I have to grow up feeling unsafe and alone?

I look at my daughter, how she depends on me and how she lights up when either I or my husband enters the room. When we are around she feels safe and happy. She’s just a baby, but the look in her eyes tells me that she knows that we are her parents, her superheroes, her safe haven. 

When you lose that safe haven as a child, you lose a part of you forever. It is a pain that no words can describe. A pain no parent can ever wish on their child. In a perfect world, no child should ever have to go through that.

I remember praying day and night, begging God to forgive my wrong-doings and to bring back my parents. Logically, I knew that they were gone for good, but begging for them to come back somehow made it feel less real. I couldn’t stand seeing my friends with their parents, it tore me apart for so so so long. I pretended to smile, but those who knew me well knew that my smile was that of a broken child. 

If you lost a parent at a young age, I see you and I understand you. I know how lonely life may seem, and I understand how empty you may feel. You aren’t crazy and you are not alone. That feeling that is eating you up inside may make it seem that life will suck forever – but take my life as an example and know that you will be okay. Right now, the world may seem bitter and dark, but just know that your mom or your dad is proud of you because, despite the pain, you wake up every morning and you live. So keep your head up high.

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