Losing a mother can be a very traumatic experience. It may feel like your heart has been shattered into a billion tiny pieces. No matter how old you are, losing your mother can be paralysing. However, it is possible to find peace and to grieve positively.
Based on what I personally went through and the lessons I’ve learnt, here are my 5 top tips to deal with losing your mother.
Tip 1: Allow yourself to feel
There are so many emotions that come with losing your mother – anger, pain, confusion, sadness. It is important not to keep these emotions bottled up inside. Express yourself positively – cry, write, sing, travel, sow, swim, work out, speak… Expressing your emotions is the best thing you can do yourself.
Tip 2: Acceptance
Accepting what has happened is probably the most important step to begin the healing process. After my mother died, denial kept me stuck for many years. My mind knew that my mother was gone forever, but my heart struggled to come to terms with it. Both your mind AND your heart need to accept what has happened in order for you to start healing.
Tip 3: Cherish good memories
Keeping your mother’s memory alive in your heart is so therapeutic. From tangible photographs to memories in your mind, you need to cherish them all. Just because your mother has passed, it doesn’t mean that the life she lived and the memories you shared never existed. Cherishing good memories will warm your heart when you least expect it.
Tip 4: Grief is a journey
Understand that there will be highs and there will also be lows. Grief is not a once-off thing that just happens and then stops. There will be days when you miss your mom so much and just feel like crap, and there will also be days when you look at pictures of her and laugh and beautiful memories you shared. Do not beat yourself up – it’s okay to be okay and it’s okay not to be okay.
Tip 5: A mother’s love never dies
This final tip is something that really helped me overcome the most difficult challenges of being an orphan. Your mother dying does not erase the love she had for you. When a person dies, their love lives on in the hearts of those they leave behind. Find comfort in knowing that even though your mom is physically gone, her love will forever be with you.